on feeling worn

I'm worn.  I could say tired or discouraged or afraid...but the truth is, I'm all of those things mixed together.  More than just crabby or frustrated.  More that just in a mood.

I know I'm blessed, I know God is faithful, I know that my feelings are fickle and I know that a lot of factors are contributing to my angst...stress at work and the gray skies outside and a general discomfort with my place in this world...

I have Pandora on in the background and a song just came on that brings me to tears every single time I hear it.  It puts words to all the feelings I've been having and have tried to articulate in many of my posts and so, today, instead of trying to explain myself, I just wanted to share the lyrics.  There is a link at the bottom to the youtube video.  You should take 4 minutes and 8 seconds and watch/listen.

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn

I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn

Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though, I'm worn
I'm worn
Songwriter(s): Jason Ingram, Mike Donehey, Jeff Owen
Copyright: Sony/Atv Timber Publishing, Open Hands Music, Formerly Music, West Main Music, Prepare For The Zombie Apocalypse
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM

Matthew 11:28-29“…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Thank you, Lord.  For loving me, for music and rest and new mercies every morning.  For being bigger than my feelings and failings and this world.  For reminders that I matter because you love me.  For that being enough.  Thank you for you.  Everything else pales in comparison.