Saturday, October 6, 2012

on being annoyed (aka on being humbled)

Self,

I think we should try and get to the root of what it is about a certain personality type that always annoys you.  What can you learn from what irritates you?  Why does a certain mix of arrogance and condescension cause such a strong reaction in you?  Its strange that it bugs you on both ends of the spectrum: the in-your-face atheist egomaniac is just as frustrating as the obnoxious, false humility of the modern day Pharisee.  It's weird, too, because usually when something bugs you, if you start praying about it, God starts changing the thing you're praying about...or He starts changing you.  So why are you having such a hard time praying for these certain individuals?  I know you tell yourself that it is because they are too arrogant, too radical, too hypocritical, too far gone, incapable of change...but is that the whole truth?  I mean, look at Saul/Paul...he was radical and arrogant and look at how God worked in him, how powerfully God changed him and then used him.  Why does the idea of God changing these individuals bother you?  Why can't you love them the way you know you've been called to?  Do you feel a little bit like Jonah, scared that God might actually have some mercy on these modern-day Ninevites and change them and then you'll have been wrong about them?

The common denominator seems to be pride...and they say what rubs us wrong in others is usually something we don't like in ourselves...hmmmm....

Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.
Matthew 23:12

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  
Phil 2:3

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders.  All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
1 Peter 5:5-6

But he gives us more grace.  That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."
James 4:6

Self, I know our heart.  I know we are grateful for God's mercy.  I know we don't want to have this hard heart toward others.  I know we want to love others with the same love that we've received.  Maybe we've put off praying for long enough...

Lord, I know you love me not because I'm loveable but in spite of myself.  I know you give me grace that I have never deserved and will never deserve as long as I live.  I know you've commanded me to love others.  Forgive me for wanting to pick and choose.  Forgive me for thinking I know someone's heart.  Forgive me for even considering withholding the kind of love and grace you've freely given me.  Change ME, Lord.  Make ME humble.  Teach ME to love like you do.  Don't let me spend another second annoyed or disdainful or apathetic.  Give me a soft heart toward those people I tend to feel most hard-hearted towards.  Show me how to be more like you.  Thank you that by YOUR grace and YOUR love we are all capable of being re-made in YOUR image.  Amen.

Now go spend some time praying for these people specifically, by name.  Who knows what amazing thing God might do in them...or in us.  But don't do it on here because that wouldn't be appropriate. ;)


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