enough

You know those moments when you witness or hear about or participate in something extraordinary?  When, like clouds breaking to reveal a beautiful sunny sky, all of the sudden the confusion and difficulty and pain of this world lifts...and you feel like you're a part of something massive and priceless and eternal?  Suddenly, love feels sweeping and palpable...and good is so completely and obviously greater than evil...and your existence is instantly filled with meaning?

a boy gives a stranger the shoes off his feet
a runner stops and goes back to help the competition cross the finish line
strangers work together and risk their own safety to rescue a dog from a raging river
a major city orchestrates a day for a little boy to be a hero
college students dress up like storybook characters to cheer up kids in the hospital
competing teams work together to let the team manager with autism score a goal
a man defends a girl he doesn't know at a bus stop from bullies
concertgoers lift up a guy in a wheelchair so he can see the show better
an entire town comes together to learn sign language for one young man
people shave their heads so that loved ones going through cancer don't feel so alone
a hairdresser goes around giving free makeovers to homeless people
people take time to serve the weak, the scared, the elderly, the broken
and this list could go on and on and on

*THIS* IS WHAT WE'RE CAPABLE OF.  
*THIS* IS THE CROWNING JEWEL OF CREATION.  
*THIS* IS HUMANITY.
 
***

Last night I had coffee with someone that I find to be extraordinarily beautiful and stylish and talented and lovely and good and kind and gentle and thoughtful and fun and sweet and about a billion other things and tears welled up in her eyes because the voice in her head doesn't speak those nice things to her.  The eyes that look in her mirror don't see what's really there.  She feels all kinds of things about herself but they can all be summed up in two little words.

not enough.

More often than not, she feels like she's just not quite "enough" - whatever enough is.

***

I'm in a Voxer group with several incredible, talented, smart, funny, creative, strong, beautiful, generous, loving (seriously, I could go on and on) women.  Lately, we have been talking about self-image...about the horrible, mean things we tell ourselves and the judgments we've felt from family and friends and strangers over our lifetimes.  Every single one of us has felt it.  Some of us feel it still.  Sometimes it's all we feel.

not enough.

We don't all agree what "enough" would look like or feel like but we agree that its a struggle to find it and live there.

***

I have an amazing life.  I've been blessed beyond anything I could ever hope to deserve.  Incredible family.  Amazing friends.  Health.  Education.  Opportunity.  Provision.  And for most of my life - nearly as far back as I can remember - I've battled depression.  It's too complicated to sum up in a paragraph but an enormous part of my struggle is the fact that I live with a cruel and spiteful bully.  Nearly every waking minute, she's taunting me: "you're hideous...why can't you do anything right...you look awful...no one wants to be around you...you're not smart enough to do this...nobody cares what you think...you are such a disaster...this is why you're single...you're completely unlovable..."  I would never spend time with another human being that treated me like this, and yet I let this wench berate me 24/7.  She reminds me over and over.

not enough.

Maybe I could be if I stopped hitting snooze or lost the weight or got out of debt...but certainly not the way I am right.this.second.

***

I know it sometimes feels like this world is going to hell in a handbasket.  I know life is hard and scary and impossible to understand.  I know some people are walking through circumstances I can't even bear to imagine.  So I'm not trying to be naive or simplistic.  I'm not trying to minimize anyone's struggle or pain.  And I'm not trying to be bossy.  Really.  I'm not.  But...

I think there is a really cool thing we should all try.  (But since I'm only in charge of me, I will just go ahead and get started.)

JUST BE KIND.

Be kind.  Be kind.  Be kind.

Be kind to the people you work with.
Be kind to strangers.
Be kind to people who are like you...and the people who are different.
Be kind to the Democrats...and to the Republicans...and to those radicals that are messing everything by voting third party. (I kid, I kid.)
Be kind to the people that don't drive right...the ones that take 23 items into the 10 item lane...the ones that text during movies.  (Insert your own pet peeve and then be kind to that person.)

Be kind to your family - I think sometimes that's harder because they've already seen your warts and they have to love you anyway...but that shouldn't be a license to test their endurance.  Yes, they can handle the worst of you...but don't they deserve the best?  Just try it.  Be kind.

Now here is the really hard part...

BE KIND TO YOURSELF.

YOU.  The person reading this.  Whoever you are.  Whatever is going on in your world.
For just a moment tell that voice in your head that sounds like you but is a really mean little jerk to SHUT THE HELL UP.  (I'm sorry but I'm fired up!)

You are incredible.
You are lovely and rare and special in ways you can't begin to imagine.  
You are loved.  I promise you are.
You have so much good to offer this world and you're the only one that can give it.  No one else can be you.  Ever.  In all of history and for all the time to come.
You matter.
You are priceless.
You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin.  
You don't have to strive so hard - just rest for a minute in the reality that by just being you, you're changing the world forever.
You deserve to be at peace with yourself.
You - exactly how you are in this very moment - are enough.
You are enough.
You are enough.
You are enough.

***

Ok, so remember how this all started - that feeling you get in the presence of the extraordinary?  You have the capacity to bring that feeling to everyone around you because...

YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY.  

You are.  It is a fact.  You don't have to believe me.  Just sit with it for a moment and ask God what He thinks about you.  

***

Now - go out into the world and be who you are.
Try looking for the extraordinary in every single person you cross paths with.
See what happens.

*THIS* IS WHAT WE'RE CAPABLE OF.  
*THIS* IS THE CROWNING JEWEL OF CREATION.  
*THIS* IS HUMANITY.

P.S. If you ever need a reminder that people are extraordinary, google "restore faith in humanity" and you'll be bombarded with examples.  You should also follow Love What Matters on Facebook.  You're welcome.