all things

Let me be clear.  This blog was never meant to be about love or relationships or my longing for a husband.  Those things tend to come up now and then because of the season of life I'm in (and have been in for what feels like an eternity now...but that's neither here nor there...) 

Regardless, the focus was never on my earthly circumstances whatsoever. 

This has always been about seeking God...finding Him and missing Him...knowing Him and being known by Him...trying to understand His heart toward me...growing more like Him...faltering and allowing Him to pick me up...wrestling with Him...learning His will...loving Him and letting Him love me...serving Him...being fully satisfied in Him alone...

This blog simply catalogues the process of me sorting out what He's teaching me in hopes that I can really get it and maybe encourage someone else along the way. 

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A verse that has been swirling around in my life recently:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28 (emphasis added)

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I've always loved this verse and mostly believed it.  Obviously there are seasons when it feels harder to believe than others but ultimately, I know it has to be true because God included it in the Bible and God doesn't lie and because I've seen it play out in my life and the lives of those around me over and over and over again.

God using sickness to restore relationships...turning an unplanned baby into a miracle child that blesses a family...taking a childless couple and making them amazing parents to children that would have otherwise been dealt a terrible hand...healing and showing off His awesome power while knitting together an incredible gift in her mother's womb and then continuing to amaze and astound at every phase of growth...refusing to answer prayers that would have ultimately destroyed the person asking...opening and closing doors to get someone to the exact right place and time...

I really could go on and on.  And yet, every time I'm in the experiencing "all things" phase, I tend to focus on my characterization of the thing - this is sad, unfair, impossible, devastating, hopeless.  Even knowing the promise and the Promise-Keeper, it is so hard to take my eyes of the situation and put them on Him while waiting for Him to bless me with the "works for good" part.

Right now, I'm trusting (ok, trying really hard to trust) that God is going to use the most recent thing for good - not just for me but for every other person involved.  Right now, I can't imagine how He could possibly do it. 

What was lost seemed so amazing, how could He possibly improve upon that?  The wounds seem too deep, how could He possibly bring anything good out of this mess?  And yet, I know that He will work it for good because He always does.  He promises He will and He always keeps His promise.  He will work all things for good.  Not some things, all things.  Not for something tolerable, for something good.  No exceptions. 

So all my hopes and dreams that now seem impossible?  He will work them for good.
My broken heart and disappointment?  He will work them for good.
The confusion and stress and conflicts and loss swirling around those I love?  He will work them for good.

The same is true of the many other much harder things that others find themselves up again in this moment.  Cancer.  Death.  Divorce.  Loss.  Betrayal.  Prison.  Financial ruin.  He will work them all for good. 

ALL OF IT. 

ALL THINGS. 

FOR GOOD.

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So right now I don't have to understand or imagine how He will manage it because His ways are beyond my comprehension. 

I don't actually have to do anything. 

He did it all when He called me according to His purpose...and when I loved Him because He first loved me. 

After I wrestle my way through all the swirling thoughts, somehow it always circles back to the same instructions He has been lovingly whispering over me for years - simple words that are clear and straightforward and unmistakable but oh so hard for me to obey...

Trust Me.  Rest in Me.  Wait on Me.  Believe I'm working on your behalf.  All things. For good.