on peace

All my life, I've prayed for peace.  It's pretty standard boilerplate in my prayers for myself and others.  God, give me your peace that passes understanding.  Pour out your peace over him.  Fill them with your supernatural peace, Lord.  Give us peace like a river in this situation.

But recently God showed me something that totally ASTOUNDED me.  An epiphany.  Seriously.  It blew my mind.  (I realize others may have already figured this out but sometimes I struggle with even the basic concepts.  It's ok.  God is patient with me.)

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  John 14:27

He left peace for me.  With me.  HIS PEACE.  As a gift.  He expects that peace to keep my heart from being troubled.  He thinks that peace should prevent me from fearing anything. 

As in, peace is just here all around me, freely available for the taking.  And if I don't have it, it's because I'm choosing not to.  Peace isn't something I have to beg Him for, its something I already have access to - I simply have to choose to experience it.  To take hold of it.  Pick it up.  Live in it.

Peace is my inheritance.  It cannot be taken away by my circumstances.  It isn't weakened by my trials or strengthened by my blessings.  In fact, I've found recently that the more painful my external situation, the deeper and more powerful that peace feels.  Because its HIS peace.  And He is all-powerful and perfect and unchanging.  Of course His peace is also powerful and perfect and unchanging.

So why don't I always have it?  I'm not entirely sure, but I have a few ideas:

I'm thinking about the wrong things. 

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful."  Colossians 3:15

I've heard it said a number of different ways but the bottom lines is what you focus on, you magnify.  Whatever rules your mind will eventually rule your heart and then your actions and ultimately your life.  I have the choice to make peace a priority...but if instead I choose to fixate on my lack or my trial or my stress or even my lousy mood, I probably will sacrifice the peace that's available to me.  Thankfulness is always a good place to park my mind if I'm trying to get it off the wrong things and it almost always opens my eyes to the peace that's available to me.

I'm doing or pursuing the wrong things.

"They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it."  1 Peter 3:11

Some days, I just want to pout.  I want to feel sorry for myself.  I want to whine and moan and grumble and complain.  I know that's really stupid but I'm being honest.  Sometimes there is something about a pity party that just feels good. 

Other days, I just want to be lazy.  I don't feel like taking my thoughts captive or praying or meditating on truth.  I'd rather watch trash tv and surf the internet and Facebook stalk people and maybe do a little judging and comparing and mocking.  I know that's really awful but I'm being honest.

There are a million big and small ways I pursue anything and everything but peace - and I always suffer the consequences because where there is no peace, there is a vacuum for a lot of other miserable things like jealousy, hatred, bitterness, disdain...sin, sin, sin...the list goes on and on.

I'm trying to understand instead of trusting God.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

God's smarter than I am.  Obviously.  But even more than that, He has the whole picture - as in, from the beginning to the end of time.  He knows the hearts of everyone involved.  He knows not only the who and the what and the where, He knows the how and the why.  And then there's the fact that He's sovereign.  He's in control.  He can actually work on the situation without making it worse like I so often do.  If I will just accept all of this, pick up His peace and lay down trying to work it out - because let's face it, I can't even solve a Rubik's cube -  then His peace can guard my heart and my mind from all those things that steal the peace in the first place. 

Because I'm realizing that when I don't take hold of the peace He's offered me, I suffer more than just the lack of peace...I become weak and open to discouragement, fear, exhaustion, worry, self-pity, unbelief, even just a plain old bad attitude.  It's one more way of basically shouting to the enemy, "Hey, look over here!  I'm totally unprotected by His peace so you should come torment me awhile!"  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." Psalm 29:11

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."  Isaiah 26:3

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you."  Isaiah 54:10

Peace is a gift, a blessing.  It is a protection for my mind and heart.  It is freely given and cannot be shaken or removed.  God gave it to me.  I'd be crazy not to grab it and hold on to it with all my might.