The Valley of Baca

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools (or blessings). They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion." Psalm 84:5-7

I find myself in a hard season. As much as I want to be faithful and trust God and His plans for me, I struggle with asking why and wanting Him to make it ok, to stop the pain. I don't understand why He has allowed this. I believe His word and that He can use all things - even this - for good (Romans 8:28) but it's taking too long and it hurts so much. Surely there is an easier way. 

Today I read the verses above. I looked up the Valley of Baca. It was a part of the desert country that had to be passed through to get to Jerusalem. It was a country full of thorns, wild animals, pitfalls, vipers, danger and water was far apart and difficult to get to. Going through this valley meant facing tremendous hardship and accounts for the name that means "Valley of Tears" - it sounds a lot like where I find myself. 

But I am trying to remind myself that God is my strength. That I have set my heart on this journey with God. I want to pass through this valley and make it a place of springs, drinking deep of the Living Water and allowing Him to refresh and sustain me. I want to trust God's healing rain and provision to cover and bless me. I want to go from strength to strength by His grace and power. 

I don't want to wander in this desert wasteland, plagued by doubt and bitterness and fear. I don't want to allow satan free reign of my mind. I don't want to stay here, stuck in self-pity and frustration. 

The alternative is to go from strength to strength. So when I find myself utterly without strength, what can I do?  I have to GO ON. I have to keep moving forward to where the next strength is and trust that God isn't finished. This valley isn't my destination. I have to keep going. 

Later in the same Psalm: 

"For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." (v. 11-12)

God goes before me and behind me and beside me, even in this valley and even when I can't feel His presence.  He promises to never leave or forsake me. He's not going to leave me here but I have to keep walking with Him. 

Lord, thank you for your love and your grace and mercy. Thank you that this Valley of Tears is not the end of the road for me. Thank you for taking me from strength to strength. Please help me put one foot in front of the other and fix my eyes on You.